Family | Personal

I Googled Second Infertility and It Scared Me

March 29, 2017
mommy-hand-baby-foot

After celebrating the joys of last week, this post is on a more serious note.  I have one beautiful daughter and I’ve always wanted to have three kids, max.  My daughter is already two years old and I haven’t gotten pregnant since having her.  As the months go by and I continue to have my periods, I started to wonder if something is wrong…with me?  My husband?  I started searching Google for answers and came across this term: second infertility.  Do I have second infertility?  I had never heard of this term before.

Disclaimer:  I am no expert on second infertility and cannot help you with any medical questions.  Please direct those to your appropriate care provider.

What is second infertility?

I’m a little frantic now about getting pregnant because I do not want my children to be far apart in age.  By doing the math, even if I get pregnant right this second, my children will be three years apart.  That’s borderline ideal max age difference to me.

Second infertility is when a couple is unable to get pregnant after having had a first pregnancy before.  Sounds unreal, right?  My daughter was conceived really quickly after our marriage, so my husband and I didn’t expect getting pregnant again would be difficult.  I’ve been using a period tracker app to see what days I’m supposed to be most fertile and used that data to try and make that baby magic happen.

Five months and still nothing.  I’m starting to really worry something is up.  I’m still in my 20’s, the last legs of it, but still.  Google’s search results and my monthly results have scared me.

Thankfully, I came across this informative post on Mom.me with information from a physician assistant in an OB practice.  The author writes about six points, but I just want to highlight two that helped me.

50% get pregnant within six months and 85% make a baby within one year

Human fertility is inefficient

First off, a woman usually has only one egg available for fertilization every one month.  Finding the right timing for getting pregnant isn’t easy.  In fact, it’s a 1 in 4 chance of getting pregnant if you are a young healthy couple with no other issues AND you get the timing right.  So, if a group of young healthy couples consistently try to get pregnant with these stats, only 50% get pregnant within six months and 85% make a baby within one year.  I’m only five months in, everyone.

You’re Probably Not Infertile

Second, if you are in the 15% of young healthy couples that didn’t get pregnant within a year, you can’t write yourself off as infertile.  Apparently, there are very few medical diagnoses that actually cause infertility.  It is more likely there are other barriers that are making it difficult for you to get pregnant.    Again, you’d want to consult your care provider in this case.  Is that reassuring news?

Either way, I want that second baby now!  I mean, I have so many great books to read future baby.  So, I’m going to make use of some handy gadgets like an at-home ovulation testing kit and see if we can make that timing right.  Wish me luck, guys!

Have you had a long waiting period before getting pregnant with your next child?

  • I can totally imagine getting anxious about the Second Infertility thing too, but the stats you’ve quoted are much more reassuring. And don’t worry about the age gap – my kids are 3.5yrs apart in age and they’re best buddies. I hope that it all works out for you soon (I remember the nervous wait every month to see if you’ve been “successful” – it’s not nice).

    • Paula

      Thanks, Lucy! I am crossing my fingers…and hope that they’ll be best buddies, too 🙂

  • I struggled to get pregnant the 2nd time around and had 2 miscarriages too it was a very difficult time. My advice would be to talk to your Dr, I did and she arranged an appointment with a specialist – which I had to cancel because I was pregnant! Good luck and try not to worry. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

    • Paula

      Thanks, Catie! I appreciate the advice. I may have to visit the doc if nothing changes soon. And I’m sorry for your losses, thanks for sharing with me.

  • I’m thinking about having a second baby and am a little bit worried about it, since I’m nearly 35. It was so easy the last time – I was pregnant within a month – that I’m not sure how I’ll handle it if it’s not as easy the second time. Fingers crossed! #ablogginggoodtime

    • Paula

      Don’t worry ahead of time! I have faith we’ll both be fine =] Good luck to you!

  • I have heard about this being a thing but didn’t know it actually had a term. I do actually know a few people who therefore had second infertility and some came right in the end. But seriously, don’t google things because it really does just scare you! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xoxo

    • Paula

      Haha, yeah…I need some sort of web browser filter to limit the amount of Googling I do.

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